Overcoming Post-Work Restraint Collapse
Recently, I spoke with a friend of mine with school-aged children. She was telling me about the daily after-school meltdowns she was experiencing with one of her children. There is a technical name for this. It is called “After School Restraint Collapse,” a concept developed by a counselor and parent educator named Andrea Loewen Nair. It happens because kids often hold their feelings together all day at school and only feel safe to let it all out when they get home. This often shows up as screaming, crying, whining, anger, and disrespectful behavior.
Just like kids feel like collapsing after school on some days, adults often feel the same way. It's called “Post-Work Restraint Collapse.” The way it shows up in adults is feelings of depletion and having no energy for other things you enjoy like exercise, social activities, hobbies, or spending time with loved ones. It can also surface emotionally by feeling burnt out or fragile. You may have difficulty with impulse control like saying things you don’t mean or eating things you wouldn’t normally eat. Physical symptoms may also manifest in the form of headaches, stomachaches, backaches, etc….
If this is you or someone you know, here are some tips from sunup to sundown that can help minimize post-work restraint collapse:
Before Work – A little preparation goes a long way. Prep for what you think you will need after work. Some ideas are to have dinner ingredients measured and ready to go for fast diner prep when you get home. If exercise is a desired after-work activity, which is a great way to decompress, pack your clothes in the morning and arrange an exercise date with a friend. This will help hold you accountable. Another suggestion is to assemble an inspiring playlist to listen to on your way home or after work hours.
During Work – On the job, take regular breaks throughout the day. You can always do an Express Desk Stretch to help you re-focus and re-energize. Here is this week’s stretch video. Also, put some protective measures in place like setting boundaries and practicing stress management skills. Refer to an earlier blog post this year on a four-step process to manage stress in the moment and a four-step process for managing stress long-term. Also, developing friendships at work can help bring you more joy on the job. Read more here.
After Work – Take advantage of the “before work” activities outlined above and listen to your favorite playlist or podcast on your way home. Exercise is one of the best ways to decompress. You can also create calm by taking a few minutes to sit outside and observe nature. Maybe, take your kids to a playground and play with them vs. just watching them. Cook that delicious, healthy meal you prepped earlier in the day.
This is not an exhaustive list of ideas but they will hopefully serve as thought-starters for you to be intentional about what you can do before, during, and after work to bring calm to the chaos at the end of your workday.
A more long-term approach is to select a career and workplace that will enable you to have a healthy environment for you. Many companies are setting boundaries with wellness perks like no after-hours emails, various wellness offerings, and internal coaches and mentors who can help you navigate through the inevitable tough issues at work.
The bottom line is to take control. If you don’t, the chaos surely will.
Inquiry Question: What is one thing you can commit to doing before, during, or after work to mitigate your post-work exhaustion?
If you find these posts to be helpful, please share them with friends, family, and colleagues.
Kind regards,
Anita